Billboard Roundup: December 2021

Right, quick little roundup for December that I’ve shoved out in one hour, bit busy at the moment. Only five songs to talk about since Christmas music took over as usual, let’s begin.

“abcdefu” by GAYLE

Peak #15, Current #27

This is the first major hit of the new chart year, reaching the top ten in various countries and currently residing at #1 on the global Spotify chart. It comes from Gayle, a 17 year-old American singer-songwriter signed to Atlantic, with this being her debut single on the label and achieving mega virality on TikTok.

Unsurprisingly it’s a breakup song, and unfortunately it’s not a very good one. There’s no complexity whatsoever, which is fine but the singular emotion of anger isn’t conveyed all that well, with the main issue being the production. We’re in the midst of a pop-punk revival so you would’ve thought there would be some firepower here, but instead we’re left with awfully hollow drums, zero bass presence, and a highly underwhelming drop in the chorus that is trying so hard to be huge but has no real impact. The silly nursery rhyme title line doesn’t help either, and Gayle has no bite to her delivery or really anything to make her stand out at all.

It reminds me most of Tate McRae’s You Broke Me First, but that song kind of got away with minimalist production and an unassuming lead vocal because the main emotion was sadness, whereas Gayle’s attempted knockout just doesn’t ignite at all and sounds really tinny and underwhelming as a result. It’s catchy but otherwise doesn’t have much going for it and if this sticks around for much longer then that catchiness will soon turn to annoyance. Not a fan.

4/10

“Super Gremlin” by Kodak Black

Peak #20, Current #26

Fuck me, we’re still persisting with Kodak Black?? I didn’t think anybody still liked this guy since, as well as being an awful person, he’s also just a terrible rapper. I mean even if you go on to the YouTube videos for his biggest hits where people are actively seeking out the music, you’ll still routinely find that a good deal of the comments are mocking just how awful he is on the microphone.

No point wasting much time on this as Kodak Black continues to suck as a rapper with his slimy delivery in the verses and awful attempts at singing along with the hook. I don’t hate the production or sample used for the chorus, but when it’s given to such a useless and unlikeable performer, there’s no point caring about anything here. Reviving Kodak Black’s career was just about the worst way 2022 could’ve started.

2/10

“I Hate U” by SZA

Peak #7, Current #42

In case you missed it, I recently crowned Good Days as my favourite hit song of 2021 and also stated that it was so great that it raised my expectations for every Sza song for the rest of time. We put that to the test immediately with this track, originally published on SoundCloud in August and now released officially.

Well it’s certainly not Good Days, but this is a decent enough R&B track. I’m not thrilled to see her lyrics return to more plain-spoken relationship whinging, but there is a fairly strong tune here and I dig the vibe created with the sandy percussion and wailing synth playing off Sza’s rambling vocals. This is really dipping back into the sort of R&B that Sza came to popularity with, and whilst she is better at that style than most, it’s not something that’s of a great deal of interest to me. Still quite a groovy song though.

6/10

“Burn” by Juice WRLD

Peak #34, Current #74

Well we got that second posthumous Juice Wrld album, and this is the highest charting track from it since it’s the opener. It’s actually quite decent. Metro Boomin provides some very atmospheric production with the twinkling keys, dramatic strings and bombastic drum blasts, it certainly sounds like an opening track. As I said last month, I’m not really enjoying all these posthumous Juice tracks where he’s talking about all the drugs he’s doing and the problems it’s causing him, because I just find it sad and in slightly bad taste to keep hammering on, but I can’t deny the emotion in his performance here. Doesn’t really build to as big of a climax as it should, and like I say it definitely sounds like an opener so I can’t really see myself coming back to this, but it’s not bad.

5.5/10

“Broadway Girls” by Lil Durk ft. Morgan Wallen

Peak #14, Current #14

Welp, Morgan Wallen is back. This may be a Lil Durk song according to the credits but with Morgan handling the hook and first verse it certainly feels a lot more like Morgan’s big return than anything else. I’m fine with Morgan coming back now, he’s taken an appropriate amount of time away and hopefully he’s used that time wisely in terms of personal development.

This isn’t really a collaboration that surprises me as Morgan has already seen success with trap songs such as Heartless and Wasted on You, plus Lil Durk is pretty hot right now. In principle, I feel as though I would expect myself to like this. It’s about the two guys being unable to leave a certain type of girl alone and the problems that goes on to cause them. Aesthetically I like this idea as it’s consistent with the personas that they put forward in their music, and there’s something just kinda cool about this as a collaboration with that premise, it just feels so natural.

Sadly, I just don’t think that the song we ended up with is very interesting. I feel like there was so much potential for fun interplay and memorable lines here, but instead Morgan and Durk have zero chemistry and other than the title line the lyrics are very forgettable. Don’t mind it, but this should’ve been a lot more interesting than what it is, and if Morgan Wallen is counting on this to be his glorious return then I think he’ll end up disappointed.

5/10

December average: 4.5/10

Worth listening to: Can we maybe start streaming “Sand in My Boots” again? Morgan fucked up his chances of that being a hit last year, but I’m all for radio giving it another try in 2022.

🙂

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